In Hans Christian Andersen's The Emperor's New Clothes, two cunning weavers (swindlers) convince a vain emperor that they can weave him the clothing like none he’s ever seen before—clothing that's invisible to anyone foolish or unfit for their position. The Emperor quickly agrees to the deal and has the two weavers get to work immediately.

One by one, the Emperor sends his ministers and advisors to check on the weavers in the process of making his new clothing. They all see nothing but empty looms and workers weaving air. Yet each declares the fabric beautiful, too afraid to admit the truth, fearing being labeled foolish or unfit for their role as a minister or advisor. This goes on until the Emperor is presented with his new clothes. He sees nothing but goes through the motions of being dressed as all his attendants exclaim how beautiful his new clothing is. The Emperor, feeling satisfied, decides to wear his new clothes through town.

The crowd cheers as the Emperor parades by. They, too, have heard of the magic clothing—none want to say anything for fear of being labeled foolish or unfit for their position.

It takes a single child to blurt out the obvious: “he has nothing on at all.”

The story is a timeless reminder of how desperately we can cling to what we want to hear, and how it often takes an unlikely, unfiltered voice to tell us what we actually need to hear. We often cling to what we want to hear instead of trying to understand what we need to hear.

The more power you have, the harder it becomes to hear what you need to hear. The people around you are incentivized to please you. Make you happy. You have power over them. They would be fools to behave any differently.

Odds are, your employees feel just like the advisors in the story, who refused to tell the Emperor the truth for fear of the personal repercussions it would mean. You have to work at finding sources who will tell you what you need to hear. Most leaders fall into the trap of surrounding themselves with people pleasers. It feels good to be praised. It feels bad to be given critical feedback. It’s supposed to be painful. Healing yourself is rarely pain-free.

Resetting a broken bone is painful, but you feel better as time moves on. Receiving critical feedback is the same way. You have to be willing to place yourself in painful, uncomfortable situations if you want to hear the best advice. An echo chamber is no place for critical thinking.

Leaders should welcome dissent. In fact, don’t just welcome it, surround yourself with it. F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” Rather than hide from opposition, argue against it, or formulate a new attack to validate our opinion, we should sit with opposing ideas. We should spend time understanding why we oppose the idea. Be willing to learn about something you might not fully agree with.

Every leader should want to receive as much feedback as possible—good or bad—so they can wrestle with it, understand it, and apply it if it’s useful. Far too often, I see leaders willingly ask for feedback, then do nothing. If someone takes the time to give you valuable feedback, show them how valuable it was. When someone gifts you a new shirt you like, you wear it the next time you see them. Show people how much you appreciate feedback, and you’ll keep receiving it! This is how you build a reputation for someone who welcomes candor.

Once you become comfortable with hearing dissent and critical feedback, it’s time to broaden your perspectives. Learn about how other people live, think, love, and experience emotion. Reading fiction is a great tool for this. You need to be curious: you don’t know what you don’t know.

Do you know what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck? Do you know what it’s like to be a single parent? Do you know what it’s like to deal with addiction?

Odds are, you have employees who are experiencing things you have never even imagined (just as you have experienced things that they can’t imagine). Viktor Frankl discussed the idea of misery as absolute to those who experience it, filling up space like gas in a room until we’re completely engulfed by our misery. The feelings are the same, despite the severity of the situation. We can connect because we all understand what it means to suffer. Use empathy to learn more about your employees and try to see life through their eyes for just a moment.

Becoming a leader makes it harder to hear what you need to hear. You have power over the people you lead. They will naturally drift toward telling you what you want to hear. You have to be willing to listen to dissent, apply feedback, and model empathy if you want to hear what you need to hear.

Don’t wait for a child to state the obvious. Give your team a voice and encourage them to speak up!

Until next time,

Rick